fixing husband's desires?
We are newly married. Though, he is 28 and I am 25 he acts like a 10 year old. We initially decided we will not have any form of sex till I get my degree. Now, two months after marriage he cannot keep that commitment. How can such a person keep lifelong commitment? And, why is he so eager for sex that he cannot wait another two years. He told me he is a virgin so if he has waited for 28 years, why can't he wait for another two? He is behaving like a 10 year old who wants candy adamantly. He asked me if we could do a**l and o**l sex On hearing that I was shocked. He was thinking of me as some call girl. Those forms are forbidden and hardly done in Indian culture. Still, he is mentioning this to me and wants to have this with me. I have sternly refused to yield to his tantrums. I need to complete my degree to get a proper job and he needs to do a second job to earn more money. Instead, he comes home after his first job and does not let me study by asking for sex. How childish can he be? Instead of focusing on things which may help us and our future he is behaving like a weird person. One day when I came home he was watching p0rn. This is beyond belief. He was paying lot of attention to the girl's b00bs and rear ends which were exposed in that p0rn movie. What could be wrong with him? We are from India where women are highly regarded. He told me he never did that when he was a bachelor and now he is doing that. I turned it off and asked him to do some part time work instead of such foolish things. We both have Indian ancestry still he does not seem to know anything. He thinks sex is very important for marriage rather than understanding marriage is a journey in which husband/wife need to help each other. Instead of helping me finish my degree, he is hindering it by his requests not to mention the time he could have spent working/doing investments which would benefit both of us. He told me his newly married friend has sex 5 times a week with his wife who also has a full time job. I am surprised he believes such baloney. The questions are 1. How can I get rid of his obsession with sex? 2. How can I ensure he does not watch p0rn in my absence and does productive work if he has spare time? 3. More importantly, how can I convince him of his responsibilities of marriage like securing our future, getting a house, retirement funds etc...He does not make a six figure income which is pretty normal for his age group people(who are lawyers, investment bankers, pharmacists, nurse anesthesiologists, accounting/finance people). 4. Has anyone else faced such issues? 5. How can I fix it? I am from India where my father behaved responsibly with my mother so I don't understand why my husband is not behaving properly with me? I was thinking of telling him he can have sex with me when he earns more than 150K. This way I will be free till he earns that much(which will take few years) and more money will be better for us only. Would that work? I don't want to discuss this with my family as they will think they have married me to a silly person. Thanks
Marriage & Divorce - 8 Answers
Random Answers, Critics, Comments, Opinions :
1 :
You can't fix it, you can't change it, you've got to divorce it. Face it, no man would agree to this arrangement if he was sane. So you are driving him insane and that's why he is acting like this. either do him hard and often or leave him alone to find someone else.
2 :
Wow. Your poor husband.
3 :
"I was thinking of telling him he can have sex with me when he earns more than 150K. This way I will be free till he earns that much(which will take few years) and more money will be better for us only. Would that work? I don't want to discuss this with my family as they will think they have married me to a silly person." You are an idiot. He is trying to tell you that he is EXTREMELY HORNY. He wants to have sex with you. Men need sex, like we need food and water. He is telling you that he can't wait. If you don't give him sex he will have no choice but to go get it from somewhere else. An erect penis, hard, standing up in your pants IS PAINFUL. It is a terrible form of torture. IT MUST BE RELIEVED. Telling him you'll have sex when he makes $150K/year is not going to motivate him to make more $, it will just encourage him to leave you for another woman. Even if he doesn make $150K/year, he will remember how you held your pussy hostage and he will forever be bitter. No pussy is worth $150K/year.
4 :
I do hope that you're a troll and that no man is suffering your presence for real.
5 :
Your husband is human and by marrying you his natural hormones have become his biggest curse. He must like you because I would never put up with that. Sex is vital to a marriage and his drive is human nature, not lack of self control. What are you waiting for, good god, its just sex, give him a blow or something if you don't want to take birth control. You can't fix him, he's not broken, Your unatural behavior is driving this. If you don't start meeting his needs the porn behind your back will be sex with another women very soon, sorry
6 :
Hed should hire a prostitute, or call girls or even an escort and do the deed with them. He would be a fool to wait two years ! Why in the hell would you get married if you didn't want to have sex ? Forget the Indian culture, you are in the United States Of America, where a husband should be able to take his wife anytime he wants to..!
7 :
Wow seriously? I'm sorry but the problem isn't with the husband but with you. I agree that marriage is a journey but you are putting a large road block in front of you. If he doesn't get sex from you he may like others have said find it somewhere else. I think if you asked your family they would even be a little shocked at your point of view. Sex may not be what marriage is about but it does play into a happy one. Why exactly did you put the no sex until finished with schooling? Is it because you are afraid to get pregnant? If that is the reason there are contraceptives like the pill, nuva ring, and the good ol' traditional condom.
8 :
he will get it from someone else, just watch, should of taken him up on the anal and oral
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